Inside Out Blog

Which You, are You?

Which You are YOU?

As any of you who follow my social media movements, recently Vivienne and I drove a 6200km round trip to the south of Italy and back.

While away, we visited a beach in the south of Italy and I being a bit of a People watcher was struck by the similarities in peoples behavior. The people attempting to some how be individual, yet following someone else.

It left me wondering where they find their inspiration? Who are they following?

We all do it? In some way we all mimic those we look up to. Those we wish to emulate.

We fall into a culture and begin to portray the traits of the society around us. Using the phrasing and body language of those who influence us in order to fit in and be accepted.

So which you, are you?

Over the past number of years this has been especially prevalent in men. The hipster hard man, The beard, the Skinny Jeans and the Topknot. Men following the style of Conor McGregor, even if they didn’t know it. The style mimicked by the few initially, then becoming popular.

Women and girls following the Kardashians, to the point that young girls were damaging themselves by creating a vacuum on their lips with glasses and cups to engorge their own lips to have a natural trout pout!!

So which You, are you?

Are you Robert DeNiro or Kristin Stewart?

Are you the you who is happy and confident straight from bed in the morning, happy to go about your business unshaven or without makeup. Confident and comfortable with who you are?

In your working life are you happy to take calculated risks? Willing to put yourself out there and try new things? The type of person who fails and doesn’t hold onto it or take it personally?

Are you a Kardashian?

Are you the you who needs to groom, apply makeup and wear those jeans that just make your bum look that certain way before you will even consider going to the post office or drop the kids off at school?

In your working life, stick to what you are good at, love a little bit of gossip and a bit of drama to spice up the day. Willing to try new things within reason as long as you are likely to do well. The type of person who would avoid an life changing interview if you didn't feel you looked good enough?

Are you not celebrity inclined?

Are you the type of person who quietly carries on with your own job, secretly wishing you would be promoted although can never find the motivation to apply. The type of person who can’t seem to muster the courage to throw out ideas at the brain storming sessions for fear of being shot down.

Or are you the person who can’t seem to get a break. You just float along in your own little bubble. Afraid to rock the boat, just incase.

The thing is your not alone. So many are the same. People fit securely into their own little niche.

Take the good looking girl or guy in the office that always seems to float by in life. They seem to be happy and confident, the gossip is that the boss and them have had a thing once or twice. The tiny bit of resentment through the office towards their position and climb is there but rarely mentioned. The only ones to talk of it, are the Kardashians I mentioned before.

So this happens, I know it does, the intra office affairs do go on from time to time but not all good looking people are loose and sleeping their way to the top.

So lets examine which of the people on the list these people are.

Why are they so confident and comfortable in their own skin? 

Is the truth that they are good looking and that just makes them more confident, more skilled and a better person? The truth, is Yes ….. and a big No which is in a way a Yes! Let me explain.  

Yes because maybe they haven’t faced as rejection as often, yes they have felt attractive.  

No and Yes in that often their GAP between who they are, and who they feel the world expects them to be can be significantly smaller than that of others.

They are more used to succeeding. Therefore more willing to take risks, with risk comes reward, so they excel.

Lets look at it another way.

The not fantastic looking guy you know with the super hot wife or girlfriend?

Everybody knows one.

Why does he always seem to get on in life? How has he always had luck with the girls despite looking like an extra from Lord of the Rings?

Confidence. The GAP, between who he feels he is and who he feels the world expects him to be is small. He is under no pressure to perform for the masses. Just happy being himself.

So lets go back for a second to the people I described above. The you, you and you?

Are you the You who feels you need to have perfect skin, perfect teeth and remain young for ever? The you who poses for selfies because you are in control of what others see, but hate photographs of yourself?

Are you the you who reads magazines and loves celeb gossip?

Spending your time looking at well lit and photoshopped images of beautiful, happy, confident celebrities?

Are you the you who judges photographs of yourself against what you see in magazines?

If you are anyone other than the you who doesn’t love the natural skin you walk in, you need to look a little deeper.

We are all influenced by the world around us. Where you find your influence and inspiration is your choice. How you present yourself to the world is your choice. 

If you feel like you are failing as a human, remember all of the things you do day to day. You are living, that makes you successful. 

How you choose to walk in the skin you wear is your decision. Why not embrace it? What other choice do you have?